Who I am and where I am at----

I live in the state of Maryland.  So far I have found out that in my state, my LAZY underemployed husband (who did NOT do housework, childcare or dinners or even yardwork) is entitled to my retirement-- and can even get his original down payment on our first house back.  EECKKKK

That just can't be right.  Apparently because the money can be "traced" he can get back the deposit.  What happened to the idea of marital property?  In this case, since I am the big wage earner (which is sad because I work for the government and do not make that much money).  So whats mine is his and whats his is his.  How can this be?

I am willing to use advice from other attorneys and go all the way to the Maryland supreme court if I have to.  How is fair that the lazy SOB can get his hands on my retirement?  I asked him to work more, but he wouldn't.  He was tired.  So he would hire others to do what he should have been doing.  He expected me to take care of him.

And why would I want to take care of him and stay with him?  He was usually unbathed and stinky, and went out every night to go play bridge.  Hugely overweight and not thoughtful or kind in bed. Arrogant and not nice to my daughter from another marriage.  Didn't spend much time with our son.  Very critical of me.  Telling me I didn't spend enough time with our son (as if he did).  Complaining that my mother was over to much.   And for treating me that way for 15  years, here is a bonus parting gift for you......I get to give him all sorts of money.  And forever too.  OMG.

Is it wrong to be praying that he has a heart attack or stroke or something and dies?  Dont tell me it is wrong, I so want him to die.  He is fat and out of shape-- much younger guys in better shape have died-- yet this one goes on and on............

If my wish came true, I would be a happy widow.  (OK, so that sounds terrible, but I am really ticked off)